My New Year’s 2019 Resolutions

  • Make my bed in the morning. Once a month. Sometimes
  • Put pants on at least twice a week
  • Look out a window once a day
  • Build a shrine to pizza
  • Read an entire book every single hour I’m not working or sleeping
  • Try to get over my hatred of having to cook food and sharpen weapons in the middle of fights in Monster Hunter World so maybe I can try finishing it
  • Get enraged about something and actually remember what it was three days later
  • Maybe start streaming games because my 11-year-old Ninja-loving nephew told me I could be a good streamer
  • Once or twice a week, go to a gym website’s About page
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